The only bridge between us
It was probably like this 50,000 years ago, when we humans began to communicate with one another. Words emerged from the first grunts, and it’s only been a good 2,000 years since we’ve had a complex grammar.
Today, communication is the only tool we have for exchanging, transmitting, or sharing information. Whether in face-to-face conversations, on the phone, via email, books, or social media, our world simply wouldn’t function without communication.
How much do we really talk?
There is hardly any other field where ignorance is as widespread as in communication—ignorance that we often replace with assumptions. Everyone has heard the old saying, “A man has one word; a woman has a dictionary,” and we men, in particular, are convinced of it.
However, a recent study found that women use an average of 16,000 words per day, while we men use 15,900. Statistically, the difference is negligible. One person in this study stood out with 46,000 words per day. It was—who would have thought—a man.
Speaking is automatic—and that’s risky
We use thousands of words every day, and speaking is like anything else we do over and over again: our brain automates it.
We’ve all said things we later wished we could take back. Our wife asks us something, we answer unconsciously, on autopilot, then we see the look on her face and think, “Ahh… if only I could take that back.”
As Les Brown so aptly puts it: “The moment you start speaking, the other person quickly knows who they’re dealing with.”
Speaking ≠ Communicating
The paradox: We all think our communication skills are very good. But speaking and communicating are not the same thing. Speaking is just words that we string together in any order, and we very quickly forget which words we used.
When someone insults us or treats us unfairly, we can no longer recall the exact wording even a short time later. But what we don’t forget—sometimes not even after years—is how we felt because of what was said.
The rule: Emotion trumps information
In communication: Emotion trumps information.
Once we understand this, we can use the right communication to achieve and bring about things that we and others consider impossible.
Are you still just informing, or are you already inspiring?